Blazin’ Smoked Chicken Challenge

Oh my GOD!…what the hell was I thinking!?!?!

Pardon my language, but this was my instant reaction to the infernal pieces of smoked chicken that melted my mouth. I used just about every hot element I could find in my pantry and fridge to come up with this blistering compound, however, I left out my bottle of annihilating extract of pure capsicum known as Colon Blow. I was trying to work my way up to that, but this experiment was an EPIC FAIL! The scorching rub and sauce submitted me half way through the 1 pound plate of wings. I did manage to finish the rest of the wings the next day, but not without getting the cold sweats and anxiety as I remembered the excruciating pain the day before.

The insanity inspiration of this idea came from a local restaurant that had a spicy hot wing challenge. I’m all about hot wings and spicy foods in general, but doing a challenge made me nervous. After some thought about the fiery contest…I bailed. Disgusted with myself for not manning up, I decided to prepare a homemade spicy hot wing challenge. As strange as this may sound, I also wanted to impart some flavor into the sauce. With no spicy rub on hand, I made up my own and a blistering sauce to compliment the blazing spices.

Ingredients

  • 1lb Chicken wing pieces

Caliente Rub

Caliente Rub

  • 1 tbsp Brown sugar
  • 1 tbsp Smoky paprika
  • ½ tbsp Kosher salt
  • ½ tbsp Coarse black pepper
  • ½ tsp Cayenne pepper
  • ½ tsp Chili powder
  • ½ tsp White pepper
  • ½ tsp Ground jalapeno powder

Caliente Sauce

Caliente Sauce

  • 2 cups Ketchup
  • 2 cups Valentina’s black label hot sauce (or use Frank’s)
  • ½ cup Water
  • 1/3 cup Tequila
  • 1/3 cup Brown sugar
  • 2 tbsp Dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp Onion powder
  • 1 tbsp Garlic powder
  • ½ tsp Cayenne pepper

Instructions

Step 4

  1. Mix all rub ingredients in a bowl, set aside.
  2. Whisk all sauce ingredients in a small pot to put on the grill.
  3. Set up grill for a 2-zone indirect grilling, add chunks of fruit wood.
  4. Apply the rub on the chicken wings.
  5. Place wings on the cool side of the grill with the lid on.
  6. Place sauce on cool side of the grill to absorb the smoky scent.
  7. Cook the chicken for 40 minutes at 325-350 degrees, don’t flip the wings.
  8. Afterwards, dip the wings in the sauce, place back on the grill, cook for 10 minutes and repeat once more.
  9. Remove from grill and serve.

Step 7

  • Servings: 1-2
  • Prep time: 10 minutes
  • Cook time: 1 hour

Step 8

Before I applied the sauce to the chicken, I took a little sample. It was tangy and fruity with a lot of heat, excellent stuff. My first impression was this may not be spicy after all. I was bold enough to refuse a cup of water or milk at my side. Wrong!…on all accounts.

I took slow, confident bites of chicken and savored the entire flavor. With the first wing down, I was hungry enough to start devouring the rest….huge mistake. The more bites I took, the heat just compounded in my mouth. By the third wing, my lips were throbbing and the tears were flowing, I cough to alleviate my sinuses, but all it did was stoke the fire. During this moment of pause, the after burn started to take effect. I could no longer bear it, I fixed myself a glass of water to extinguish the burn that ignited my face.

I managed to eat four more wings before calling it quits. The after burn was brutal, but the water helped subdue it within a minute. I finished the other 6 wings the next day, but it didn’t seem to be as hot. Maybe it was because I was more aware of how spicy they were and I braced myself for intense heat. Nonetheless, I’m not ready for any spicy hot wing challenge at a restaurant, I need to conquer this one first. If I can do this challenge,  I’m ready for the Colon Blow.

Blazing Smoked Chicken Challenge

Blazin' Smoked Chicken Challenge

  • Eat 1lb chicken wings,  prepared in this recipe as fast as you can
  • No drinks allowed
  • 2 minute after burn (after eating chicken wings, endure the pain for 2 minutes)
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One thought on “Blazin’ Smoked Chicken Challenge

  1. Surgeon General’s warning: Colon Blow is not for women who are pregnant or may become pregnant. Only use colon blow where certain intestinal situations deem it medically necessary. For example, one has a blockage of some kind, and White Castles aren’t doing the trick. Face melting may result.

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